The long awaited return of Celebrity Death Match has finally come. And what a return indeed; this would prove to be one of the most costly and fastest CDM’s to date…
Prometheus has been on my list for some time, as have others, but I simply haven’t been able to organize any CDM’s. Being busy in RL has limited the time I get online and the majority of my online time has been spent being a pirate. It takes a lot of time and dedication being a pirate you know…
A prolific blogger for some time, Prometheus of The Captains Log, went on my list after ‘Chribba Gate’. An incident in which his then corp ‘CONCORD preservation and recovery’ war-decked and attacked EVE’s best known carebear. The response to his actions where intense, made the CCP newsreel and caused an upset for lots of pilots. It made me chuckle.
Prom has been accepted into the NOIR Mercenary group a little while ago and looks to be having a good time. Being free from a contract at this current moment made it a good time to meet up and duel it out for the sake of CDM.
After initial contact was made I quickly refreshed Mr Prometheus with the rules; no warping off, fight to the death but no pod squishing, any other rule or limitation he may wish for.
‘Battleships it is then’ Prom responded quickly, filling me with dread. Previous large ship CDM’s have been fought with an alt of mine, not Nashh. ‘As you wish’ I reluctantly mumbled knowing that Nashh only ownes one BS and has the skill trained to 1.
Research time I
It took some time to find enough details on Prom to convince myself I actually stood a chance in this fight. Searching kill-boards from previous corps (Battleclinic was down) revealed Layzors as the BS weapon of choice. Excellent I figured, providing I can get within range, my standard Domi fit would wipe the floor with him. I say standard Domi fit as I cant field BS sized weaponry and thus sport Neuts across the entire highslots.
Second problem then becomes transporting said vessel to the fight location Amarr, or at least a low sec system close to there. This never was a real issue until now. Being a dedicated pirate at heart my sec status dropped quickly and has been a solid -10 for some time. This indeed means that the shorter high sec route to our agreed system is a big no no. The low sec route is 48 jumps, and although police free certainly not safe for my sexy flashy Dominix.
Mmm, I made the deal and I shall deliver on my promise, as I always do, I tried to pep talk myself. But what if..Maybe..wait a second..Bingo! NOIR known for their stealthy manoeuvres fly Stealth Bombers and thus so does Prom. This could be another CDM first; a T2 frigate fight!
I EVE-mailed my to-be-opponent and suggested a SB fight rather than BS fight. The response came quickly and it was in my favour, Prometheus agreed.
Research time II
It appears my adversary can fly Stealth Bombers of all races but I had already chosen my Damage type; EM. I had a look over his kill-board stats again and looked at the fits he is known to fly and what weapons he has used in the past.
Ok so he can use target painters and sensor-dampeners. No sign of T2 Torpedoes however and I think I have found my winning formula.
Picture of fit one;
Fit for the simple purpose of hitting a small target at range. Excellent, no need for cloak which leaves 2 turret slots…
Turret slots? A Stealth Bomber has turret slots? Mmm, what if…
OMFG I am so clever, he would never expect this one.
Picture of fit 2;
A volley of incoming torpedoes would wipe out my shields but they would quickly be repaired before a second volley hits. Combined with the fire-power of Frigate sized Weaponry against a Frigate with 1.7 K tank this fight was gonna last no more than 10 seconds.
Prom Night I
My main hangar in Evati had all the required modules and a stack of the Gallente Nemesis. Fitting didn’t take long and I set off. I fitted a cloak just to help me safely through the low sec systems on my 28 jump trip. I hadn’t expected any trouble running a Frigate hull through high-sec hence the shorter route option.
At various gate’s the coppers shot my shields off but by the time I landed at the outbound gate the shields where fully repped up. This filled me with even more confidence in my fitting choice.
Five jumps from my Target system (Ami) my luck turned. It turned and slapped a shovel in my face…
My Vessel of glory named Prom Night, fell to a highsec gate camper with I can only presume lots of sensor boosters. People actually sit in high sec, sensor boosted, waiting for flashy’s? I quickly spammed the warp button to at least save my pod but when the warp-drive wouldn’t activate all I could muster in local was;
Nashh Kadavr> O dear…
Karma had come for me. For all the pods I hadn’t requested a ransom for and simply shot, this was my payback. O do I wish he had offered to ransom me, 500 million in implants now floated in space somewhere, lost forever.
I would later discover that my killer Rico Felix is ranked 8th on Battleclinic and scored a whopping 143 kills versus 0 losses in the last 7 days! O and his favourite kill? Pods…
Prom Night II
My clone awoke in Evati. A little moment of rage came over me. Not just the loss of my ship & pod, but also the fact that I was going to arrive early for the arranged fight but now I was going to be late.
Viginti> Alcohol helps that
Yes it does. A quick smoke break and a Guinness later I fitted another Nemesis. I had to do this fight tonight, for the simple reason that if I would postpone, Prometheus would find the kill-mail and know my intended fit.
A few items short this time I figured I just race there the 48 jumps through low sec and get Prometheus to get me the last items from Amarr.
The trip this time was long, very long. I had to evade 3 gate camps but no further incidents. On arrival in Ami I expected to have Amarr-market access but I didn’t so I made my way there in my pod to purchase the missing items.
A touch of lag made me hover outside the Amarrian Station of choice and someone thought it would be funny to let of a smart bomb. Cold sweat broke out as the inside of a station filled my overview. ‘O shit’ I managed in our private chat. Quickly checking my location revealed I had survived the smart bomb.
I transferred my clone to this very station just in case I lost my pod again on the way back to Ami. The goods where purchased and a courier contract setup. I didn’t want to reveal my purchased items by trading to keep the surprise until later.
As my egg entered the void, alarm bells flared up, nearly giving me a heart attack. A warp tunnel enveloped around me and I was safe, with my pod a mere 13% from structure…
The Fight is on
Prometheus made a safe spot with his alt which would be used as a warp-in point. Nerves started to rattle now as my fitting choice required a close orbit around my target. What if he is 100 clicks away? Will my MWD blow my signature-radius to gigantic proportions, allowing him to deal full damage with his Torpedoes?
I signalled I was ready as did Prometheus. ‘Prom Night II’ slipped into the darkness and entered warp as I commanded it to ‘warp to 0’.
A tense few seconds later Prom’s Manticore entered my overview, 18837k, 1803k, 148k, 100k, shit,28k, yeah baby, 7k, 3k and the warp-tunnel closed behind me.
All weapons primed and pre-overloaded went to work; spewing hot ion charged rounds and T2 Rage Rockets. Ha! Take that! Super-confidence filled my head as I was convinced I had outsmarted my foe by fitting Frigate weapons instead of Torpedoes.
My shields smashed with that super-confidence. In a desperate attempt to save myself I overloaded the mid slots and activated the shield-repper and cap-booster.
A single cycle is all they managed as my inbox flashed even before the Nemesis exploded violently into space dust.
How was this possible? What just happened? I had expected to win in 10 maybe 15 seconds; instead I lost in less than 8.
Prometheus shared his fit and it became clear I had not outsmarted him, he had outsmarted me. The reason he warped to 0 was for the very same reason as I had done. That sneaky little bugger had fit Frigate guns!
We shared GF’s as I docked with my tail in between my legs. Tired and defeated, under heavy wife aggro I logged for the night.
Job well done to Prometheus, until we meet again…
Watch this space.