Celebrity Death Match #11 Flashfresh

Flashfresh – Chief Bastard of the Bastards (1st September 2009)

I say Chief bastard but Flashfresh is surprisingly nice for a villain of the highest order. The famous Bastards are well known for their fearsome combat reputation kept in check by a strict pirate honour code. Various Bastards write blogs themselves and together with the Hellcats they fill an important part of the Eve community.

The first fiction story I wrote is about Nashh Kadavr joining the Bastards. This never actually happened and I had taken some liberties in writing about the Bastards and Flashfresh himself. Risky perhaps yes, but Flash has been very good about it; not only being ok with it, he has even read the story I emailed to him and helped me make it more authentic!

I got talking to Flashfresh soon after my fight with Mynxee, I was slightly nervous but the pirate commander had been very accommodating. He took time out of his busy schedule to talk to me about the new ransom-board the Bastards are working with and the unique loot registration system. At the time Flash did not have time to catch up for a duel but agreed to fight me as long it would be in a fun Bastard way of doing it. Of course I agreed to whatever he would want but cringed when he suggested; ‘Cruiser hull with a BS sized weapon’.

We agreed to meet towards the end of August as both of us had a holiday planned before then. We followed the conversation up with a few emails to agree the terms of the fight;

1: T1 Cruiser Hull
2: Fitting needs to comprise of a BS sized gun (online)
3: No other fitting restrictions
4: No warping off (to the death)
5: No pod-killing

Now if I have any readers they will know I fly Caldari only and I suggest just for the hell of it you open up EFT and try to come up with a fit. That’s right; it is not possible. This meant I had to find a ship I could still do some DPS with and have enough powergrid to fit and online a large weapon. Some shopping around and I ended up with a Rupture and immediately started skilling for one.

It needed 5 Tech 2 Reactor Control Units to do anything at all so my low slots had been taken care off. I fitted a Tech 2 Siege missile launcher and decided to arrange the rest of the fittings around that. Shields where simply not an option after fitting two Tech 2 Target Painters and choose a mwd instead. To be able to run this permanently I fitted the high slots with 2 Heavy Missile Launchers and 3 NOS’s. As I didn’t expect to last too long I added four small drones and one medium. All gank no tank.

By the time I could fly the ship I had already purchased the modules and the hull ready to fit and fight. The duel was to happen Tuesday 1st August 21:00 Eve o’clock.

On arrival in Evati with my comedy fit I was hoping not to get shot out of space and making someone laugh at the ridiculous setup they would find in the kill mail.

We spoke over a private chat and agreed to meet in a neighbouring system and as I jumped through the gate Flash just jumped through the other way! I laughed out loud and said ’at least you know what I am flying!’. The pirate must have just missed me as he didn’t spot my vessel uncloak as I aligned to dock.

Instead of a fleet being formed I got an invite to the fleet Flash was commanding at the time. Holy crap, I thought, I am in a Bastard fleet! The names already familiar to me as I had spent some time in Evati waiting for Venom. My time there ended up being spend watching the Bastards.

The pirate CEO kindly introduced me as we met at a safespot to bookmark. Flash instructed me we where to get our ships and after a countdown we were both to warp to the bookmark. Very cool, a bit like a street car race Jaxx stuck his hands up and counted down; \o/…5….4….3….2….1…/0\ GOGOGO!

Mid warp Gorgoleon said; ‘A Moa I bet’ and just before landing I managed to explain I couldn’t fit one. My heart was pumping at great speed. The 7-7 score could swing in the celebs or my favour tonight…

As the warp bubble dissipated, my lock resolved slowly. My primed launchers fired instantly, hurtling mixed sized Tech 2 ammo at the foe. I willed my ship into a 5k orbit and engaged the mwd. To ensure I could keep this speed up I activated the 3 NOS’s and started sapping his energy. The mixed sized drones buzzed from their hold and added to my firepower.

I had originally intended to attack his drones first as I figured the majority of the damage would come from them but in the heat of the moment I locked them and did nothing about it.

My drones on the other hand simultaneously had there shields removed. What the..! Crap, a smartbomb? I quickly pulled my drones in as for me also the drones made up 50% of my DPS. I knew however that my mixed sized NOS’s would have sucked his capacitor dry and re-launched them immediately.

I had not looked at the stats yet as I had been concentrating to much on the huge array of different sized weapons and drones. A quick glance at his ships status at the top of my screen revealed he was toughing structure compared to my shields barely hanging in there. Without mercy I overloaded all the racks and prepared to record the moment…

‘YEAH! Woot!’ I belted into the fleet channel. I think the Bastards where as stunned as me and the onlookers muttterd; ‘you where crap Flash’. Still buzzing from the fight and the win I docked my ship unlikely to ever to use it again. We laughed some and exchanged ‘GF’.

It was getting late for me and after the last couple of long days (and short nights) in RL I should probably have gone to bed. I was still in the Bastard fleet however and I didn’t want to miss this opportunity and asked to stay with the fleet.

The Bastards accepted my request under the condition that I would play bait. Bait for the Bastards? ‘Yes please’ I answered and immediately boarded the Drake I had in Evati.

Some belt ratting later and a little support lend in the form of collecting Bastard loot. I managed to lose the Drake to a gate camp. Unlucky maybe, but it was the result of a misunderstood order and a wrong decision in jumping into a welcome committee of 15 Battlecruisers and Battleships. I managed to get my pod out however and quickly made my way back to Evati to jump into a gank Kestrel.

The hour and a half spend in the Bastard fleet had merely resulted in the loss of a Drake (including a full cargo of Bastard loot, sorry) and a missed chance on an Attack Frigate. I didn’t care at all however and I must say the experience has been very good. The Bastards had shown extreme professionalism by the way they knew their way around and the way the fleet conducted themselves.

Flash is a very calm, cool, collected kind of fleet commander and his instructions were relayed smooth and stress free. I kindly received an offer to return to Evati and join the Bastards on another roam some day, and I surely will.

I hope to spend some time with The Black Rabbit Academy to gain vital pirating knowledge but await the time the Bastards re-open recruitment…

Related links/posts;
Flashfresh’s side of the story; http://i-pirate.blogspot.com/2009/09/you-are-crap-you-therefore-deserved-to.html

Bastard killboard; http://www.the-bastards.com/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12152

Celebrity Death Match Killboard; http://818-k.eve-tools.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=17