Return imminent...

The jetwash blew through his now growing facial hair... Shuttle N55SF kept the engines running.

'DESTINATION?' the flight officer shouted over the roaring engines.

'Dal' Nashh responded slowly, squinting his eyes.

'WHAT?'

'DAL! you fucking prick'

'DAL HEIMATAR?'

Nashh simply nodded.

'HOP ON!'

Nashh made his way up the ramp without looking back once...

Help? part 2 ... purchase imminent.

Sooo...

After much debating and thinking I have chosen to try one more laptop, it suits my personal life a little better than a desktop and as far as I can tell it will certainly suffice for my needs.

This will be purchased tomorrow unless anyone disuades me before I leave to the shop.

http://uk.asus.com/Notebooks/Multimedia_Entertainment/N55SF/#overview

This. is. too. funny.

I just had to post this, I must have watched it 20 times and still laugh my ass off everytime...

Help?

Ok so I admit I don't know much about pc's and need some advice.

I found a really cheap Acer desktop, £380 with optional second screen.

Details;
Processor; 1.3 GHz AMD E-300 APU
Memory; 4GB
Harddrive; 1000GB
Graphics; AMD Radeon HD 6300



All I use it for is EVE, word, video editing. Will this work?

Updatez Pleaz? 3/3 Beaute

Fuck! Whartup bitchez!

Nashh is that you?

Yahar howz it going huh?

Yes well, all in all it's pretty good. We could do with some more bodies here, this hole is providing more we can handle at the moment.

Roger roger...

Er... Yeah so I have taken over loot payouts for the moment, I hope that's ok with you?

Yarz, fuckit...

Right, it's just that the guys where needing some iskies you know? Sorry man but it has been a while huh?

Fuckits man whatever, yer know...

You ok Nashh?

Fucking awesomez, great!

Right, good to hear. I have used some of the Corp funds to provide subs for as long as I could but our take is more than I could payout from our reserves. Jita and Amarr markets have been kind and just over eleven billion has been payed out for the last few weeks.

Fark... (burp)

Yeah I know good stuff huh!? I have taken the liberty to promote a few of our more loyal pilots and Dragon has been given full Director rights.

Ugh... Yarz...

It was easier that way with moving the POS and all. Anyway all is well, let me send you some graphs and figures to illustrate our progress here... Nashh?

...

You there Nashh?

...

Updatez pleaz? 2/3 Acute

Acute?

Nashh?

Hey man...

Hey, hows it going?

Great man, just great...

Good to hear. Just to let you we got everything under control here, all is well.

Great. Just great...

So... Would you like me to mail you some reports?

Nah man, youzz have tings good and stuff huh?

Er... Yeah, you ok?

Yep yeps...

Ok good. So what can I do for yah boss?

Nothings, mjust wringing...

Right, gotcha.

Yearp...

So anything specific you are ringing for?

Nawr nah...

Right well if there isn't anything else?

Nopes... Howz the warz going brother? You boyz rippin it up huh? Like yer know like killin stuff right ha!

Are you drunk?

Just great man, cool stuff huh...

Nashh?

Yar... Yar...

Right, well, I guess I had better get on with some stuff here then ok?

Yar, stuffs and tings huh...

Yeah, yeah stuff and things. You take care now you hear?

...

Nashh? Nashh?

...

Updatez pleaz? 1/3 Anabaric

Ana?

Yeah who is this?

Who do you think fuckhead? Hello? Ana? Ana!?

Nashh redialed.

Ana?

Yeah?

It's me, Nashh.

Nashh who?

Stop dicking around you penis, I need a favour.

Ah Nashh sorry man... Didn't recognize your voice. How's it going?

Yeah fine fine, listen...

Nashh paused a moment for Officer Anabaric to finish his chuckle.

You done yet?

Yeah yeah sorry, whattup?

I need you to arrange some new boats for me, get a pen and paper.

Er..

Shuttup and pencil this down, Worm, Moa, Machariel, Tornado, Dramiel, get me two of those actually, I need a full set of Crystals, some pills, blue of course, you still with me?

Er yeah but...

Shuttit, also get me five destroyers, Tengu hulls, two will do, I have the subs, pith shield boosters, two medium, two smalls, one hundred cap charges...

Nashh? Anabaric interrupted.

Yeah what?

You coming back?

Yeah I think so, soon hopefully...

It's just that...

What?

Well we are on holiday, you know.

What?

Remember holiday in null?

Well, get Acute to get that stuff ready then.

Dude, Acute is up here with me, have you not...

For fuck sake brother, pass me over to Cyber I'll get him to sort it out then, Jesus...

Er, Nashh, Cyber left, remember?

I... Right...

You ok boss?

Yeah...

You sound a bit stressed. Hows your little break? I hear the girls are pretty hot there?

Yeah... Flaming hot.

Cool cool, so you have a date for your return yet?

No...

You sure you ok? You don't sound ok...

I... I gotta go...

Right, so what about that stuff?

...

Nashh?

...

Reposted sketch for the flaming diva...

Due to to the lack of a laptop I thought a picture of my dead girl sketch would suffice but here is the scanned-in piece...

Shalee Lianne interviews Nashh Kadavr

Big shout out to Shalee for granting me an interview, check it out here.

'The Flaming Diva'

Nashh stood over the strangled remains of the young girl, she was barely 18. A drop of blood slowly started to trickle from her nose. Ariana, her name was, or so she said.

More frequently Nashh found himself getting into fights and sleeping with prostitutes or willing, naive young girls. He always had a tendency for violence when drunk or drugged but space combat relieved a lot of his inner anger. Planet-side-life simply wasn't something he fitted in with.

The girl had done him no wrong. She had in fact been very pleasurable and fulfilled most of his desires.

Ariana certainly wasn't his first kill, not even the first female but she was by far the most beautiful.

Slowly he gathered his belongings that were spread across the floor. From the back-right pocket of his jeans he pulled a small hip-flask, he swigged from the containing spirit within before covering the girl and the bed with what remained.

'Sorry' he mumbled, he meant it.

From the inside of his jacket he produced a pack of matches. He had picked them up from the same place he picked Ariana up from; 'The Flaming Diva''.

He smiled.

How fitting, he thought as he struck a few matches and lit up the bed...

There is always that last one...

'Hey man fill this up will ya!'

'Jack', as he made himself known by slid his mug forth along the bar-top.

The brash Minmatar Brutor wobbled and brushed passed Nashh whom was sat at the bar. The music was loud, too loud and not to his taste. But the tender had been good and got him what he wanted quick. Two girls, non capsuleers and way to drunk, danced sensually and kissed eachother, providing enough entertainment.

Jack the Brutor had been loud and annoying for a while but Nashh composed himself a few times and restrained his natural aggression. Not that temptation wasn't there to tell him a piece of his mind or hurt him, badly.

The tender looked from nashh back to the Brutor, sensing aggravation and figured it was best to just serve the guy to get him away from Nashh.

'What you want it filling up with bro?'

'What you think, Jack laughed out loud. Fuck sake, hound piss! Hahaha! '

The bartender didn't smile but picked up the mug and carried it over to the nearest beerpump.

Jack nudged Nashh and laughed out loud. 'What with? Ha!'

'It's a valid question', Nashh muttered.

Jack sized up Nashh for a moment, looking him up and down. Nashh Kadavr was wearing ripped jeans and worn combat boots with the laces undone. A white vest with oil stains on the side and some dark brown splatters on the chest area, sure to be dried blood, but not his own. His muscular and tattood arms and were shoulders clearly visible. His left arm depicted a battle scene running all the way up his left shoulder, his right arm had an ancient pistol on the inside of the forearm and the rest of the arm skulls. Lots of skulls. His right shoulder depicted a skull, crossed rapiers, angel wings and flames.

He was sitting on a barstool with a leather jacket draped over it, the same skull and rapier motif was visible on the back of the jacket and a gold bio- hazard sign behind a broken sword was carefully stitched on the left sleeve. In small letters below it it read; "Black Guard".

Jack smiled, squinting his eyes, drunk. He may have been drunk but knew he was not made to feel welcome next to Nashh. He didn't say another word until he got his beer and walked off with it, 'thanks'.

Nashh picked up his half empty beer and before he swigged it empty he nodded at the tender, 'last one brother, last one'.

The bartender smiled and nodded back. From a fridge in front of him he picked out another label-less bottle, opened it and put it on the bar in front of Nashh.

From a shelf behind him he picked up a thin, long necked bottle and filled up two small glasses of the containing golden brown liquid. On the label it read PIRAT rum.

'On me', the tender lifted a glass and held it aloft for a moment before emptying it in one go.

The Black Guard CEO followed suit.

The golden liquid ran down his gullet, firing up every possible taste sensation. Orange and caramel flavors lingered, even though there was no spirit burn his gums tingled.

'Holy fucksticks, leave me the bottle please brother'.

'Last one hey', the tender smiled.

'Last one...'