Smackelicious

With the WH Corp in between homes atm I got to stretch my pvp legs, and let me tell you, it's been a while.

Anyway this post is not about my epic losses and red flavored killboard, this post is about a nice kill and the resulting smack.

Bastard hero mr Tibbs probed out a Caracal and Prophecy in a mission, I happened to be in Evati at the time and thus offered a helping hand.

Tibbsy warped his tackler to the mission gate closely followed by myself in a Navy Comet and Marco Drack. On landing at the gate there was no sign of Mr Tibbs. Before confusion set in I activated the acceleration gate.

The prophecy had bailed and there was no sign of Tibbs or Marco. There was however a Caracal floating a mere 20 k away and thus I proceeded with what any self-respecting pirate would do.

The Caracal dropped under the guns of my Comet and out pops an escape capsule. With no desire for ransoms, the pod was also dispatched leaving behind a frozen corpse.

Then this chap pipes up in local;

[17:42:16] EVE System > Channel changed to Evati Local Channel
[18:00:16] Butters xStotch > oh i forgot how faggy these low sec "pirates"are
[18:00:39] Butters xStotch > when you learn to eve come to low sec you nigger bitch
[18:01:26] Nashh Kadavr > are you racist?
[18:01:36] Butters xStotch > are you racist?
[18:01:39] Marco drack > thats abit racest sir
[18:01:45] Butters xStotch > thats a bit racest sir
[18:01:59] Butters xStotch > go cry to a gm
[18:02:08] Marco drack > LOL
[18:02:23] Butters xStotch > i forgot you have to filter yourself in low sec
[18:02:27] Marco drack > you must be crying cause you ran from your mission sir
[18:02:37] Butters xStotch > ran?
[18:02:43] Butters xStotch > no its like take my morning shit
[18:02:53] Marco drack > well your not here so must of ran sir
[18:03:08] Butters xStotch > you guys run while you shit?
[18:03:45] Nashh Kadavr > ?
[18:03:47] Nashh Kadavr > i do
[18:04:05] Butters xStotch > explains why you guys still suck dick in lowsec
[18:04:23] Nashh Kadavr > mm dick..
[18:04:33] Nashh Kadavr > nom nom
[18:05:08] Marco drack > well sir did your mum teach you how to speak?
[18:05:10] Nashh Kadavr > i am gonna do unspeakable things to your corpse
[18:05:31] TANGO 2008 > someone sounds mad....
[18:05:55] Butters xStotch > little bit
[18:06:53] Marco drack > You are making your self sound like a little boy sir so grow a pair and come back to low sec
[18:07:01] Butters xStotch > hahahahahaha
[18:07:05] Butters xStotch > you dumb bitch
[18:07:09] Butters xStotch > you have no idea
[18:07:18] Marco drack > must not sir
[18:07:32] Butters xStotch > you low sec pirates are the dumbest shit fuckers i've ever met
[18:07:43] Nashh Kadavr > boohoo
[18:07:44] Butters xStotch > "oo come to low sec its where grown ups live"
[18:07:55] Butters xStotch > we have to hang out at gates
[18:08:06] Butters xStotch > its like to mature for ppl
[18:08:06] Marco drack > of course sir are you going to bring you test allaince buddies?
[18:08:14] Butters xStotch > fuck no
[18:08:21] Butters xStotch > why the fuck would i come pvp in low sec
[18:08:28] Butters xStotch > this place blows balls
[18:08:30] Marco drack > LOL
[18:08:39] Marco drack > so does 0.0 sir
[18:08:40] Butters xStotch > you can't even use half the ships in the game
[18:08:44] Nashh Kadavr > you just cant run missions for shit mate
[18:08:48] Butters xStotch > ./face palm
[18:08:58] Butters xStotch > O RELY FUCK ASS
[18:09:01] Butters xStotch > no shit sherlock
[18:09:13] Nashh Kadavr > raging sir?
[18:09:25] Nashh Kadavr > i recommend less coffee maybe?
[18:09:34] Butters xStotch > less noobs at eve
[18:09:42] Butters xStotch > seriously come to null sec
[18:09:45] Butters xStotch > get a bigger gang
[18:09:47] Marco drack > rage quit in progress because he lost a caracal
[18:09:49] Butters xStotch > preferably armor hacs
[18:10:00] Butters xStotch > get 15-20
[18:10:05] Butters xStotch > you'll survice longer
[18:10:18] Butters xStotch > bring some dictors if you know how to fly them
[18:10:27] Nashh Kadavr > would you feel better if i'd apoligize?
[18:10:28] Marco drack > sir I lived in 0.0 before and I always go to 0.0 never see guys like you there sir?
[18:10:43] Butters xStotch > not right now
[18:10:54] Nashh Kadavr > not that i will ofcourse
[18:11:04] Nashh Kadavr > i was just asking if it would make you feel better

Very entertaining indeed, but I figured it be funny to keep this malarky going a bit longer and evemail the dudes CEO;

Racist slants by your corp member
From: Nashh Kadavr
Sent: 2011.07.21 19:02
To: BoodaBooda,

hi Boodbooda,

I just wanted to make you aware of one of your corp members misbehaving in the evati local channel. I normally dont mind a little smack, in fact i find it rather amusing, however this chap decided to use some racist slurs as well wich simply are not acceptable.

Please let me know if this character will be punished or disciplined by your self or if I should notify a GM or CCP representative instead regarding his language.

Kind regards,

Nashh Kadavr

[17:42:16] EVE System > Channel changed to Evati Local Channel
[18:00:16] Butters xStotch > oh i forgot how faggy these low sec "pirates"are
[18:00:39] Butters xStotch > when you learn to eve come to low sec you nigger bitch

ps this came after probing him in his mission and destroying his caracal.


His response was epic and made me LOL;

Re: Racist slants by your corp member
From: BoodaBooda
Sent: 2011.07.22 20:39
To: Nashh Kadavr,

Dear sir or madam,

Thank you for your kind and speedy notification regarding a corp member's racially insensitive language. I have taken the liberty of not only kicking him from corp, but erasing our corp (as well as all others) from his employment history. I have also taken the liberty of shredding his Pend Insurance contract and all outstanding medical clone contracts so that he no longer receives rookie ships, and can no longer be revived from game death. As a final precaution we fired his pod directly at a wormhole, where he will spend the rest of eternity imprisoned just like in Superman 2.


Yours truly,
Boodabooda, esq.
Minmatar, Dreddit CEO, and noted black man

A witty response to finish this saga;

Dear BoodaBooda,
Many thanks for your swift handling of the situation. I feel no punishment is sufficient for grave situations like the one you just had to deal with. Your response has been adequate and satisfactory for me not to report Butters xStotch to CONCORD and have his clone wiped; in fact his pod being stranded in WH space, just like in Superman 2, feels more appropriate.
With this being set as an example I trust no future incidents will come from any of your Corporation and/or Alliance members.
I again thank you for your time and thorough management of this matter.

Warmest regards,

Nashh Kadavr
CEO Kadavr Corp Alliance

Fun stuffs...