Business with Tibbs...

Amarr; like all the main trade hubs he hated it.

But business is business. If isk could be made, he would go anywhere.

The meeting was arranged for a few hours earlier but traveling from deep within wormhole space often caused delays.

'The emperor’s bowels' was the place they agreed to meet. It's name suitable as ever, the place stank of sewage.

Tibbs was not hard to find, the lenghty Sobiestor pirate was considerably taller than any of the other patrons.

Nashh pulled up a bar stool next to him and briefly surveyed the place. Loudly sniffing he started off; 'nice place Tibbs, what the fuck?'

Tibbs picked up the mug in front of him and took a swig. He didn't respond.

'Ok, I am sorry I am late' Nashh sighed reluctantly.

The Bastard glanced over and smiled; 'no you’re not'. From a pocket on his right leg Tibbs produced an electronic pad and placed it on the bar.

'It's a burst sewage pipe' he explained, 'something related to that fight here a few weeks ago'. 'You get used to the smell, besides, the beer is good here'.

Nashh flicked though pages of information on the data-pad. 'So ...' ,he shrugged.

Tibbs sighed and pointed at the figures that mattered the most; estimated profit.

'Right, gotcha..'

'Well I can keep supplying you with the goods no problem, but any chance you could setup an advance on this here project?'

Tibbs just smiled.

'Had a few Tengu incidents lately and a little strapped for cash' Nashh smiled back.

'A few?' Tibbsy raised a quizzical brow.

'you know what I am like'.

'Sure' Tibbs replied pulling out his Neo-comm and started a transfer.

'Right, I'd best be off' Tibbs stood up and placed his long fingered hands on Nashh's shoulder. I'll catch you in a few weeks... 'Don't be late please.'

'Good to see you tibbytibbs'.

'Good to see you too old boy, oh and get the bill for me yeah...'

Smackelicious

With the WH Corp in between homes atm I got to stretch my pvp legs, and let me tell you, it's been a while.

Anyway this post is not about my epic losses and red flavored killboard, this post is about a nice kill and the resulting smack.

Bastard hero mr Tibbs probed out a Caracal and Prophecy in a mission, I happened to be in Evati at the time and thus offered a helping hand.

Tibbsy warped his tackler to the mission gate closely followed by myself in a Navy Comet and Marco Drack. On landing at the gate there was no sign of Mr Tibbs. Before confusion set in I activated the acceleration gate.

The prophecy had bailed and there was no sign of Tibbs or Marco. There was however a Caracal floating a mere 20 k away and thus I proceeded with what any self-respecting pirate would do.

The Caracal dropped under the guns of my Comet and out pops an escape capsule. With no desire for ransoms, the pod was also dispatched leaving behind a frozen corpse.

Then this chap pipes up in local;

[17:42:16] EVE System > Channel changed to Evati Local Channel
[18:00:16] Butters xStotch > oh i forgot how faggy these low sec "pirates"are
[18:00:39] Butters xStotch > when you learn to eve come to low sec you nigger bitch
[18:01:26] Nashh Kadavr > are you racist?
[18:01:36] Butters xStotch > are you racist?
[18:01:39] Marco drack > thats abit racest sir
[18:01:45] Butters xStotch > thats a bit racest sir
[18:01:59] Butters xStotch > go cry to a gm
[18:02:08] Marco drack > LOL
[18:02:23] Butters xStotch > i forgot you have to filter yourself in low sec
[18:02:27] Marco drack > you must be crying cause you ran from your mission sir
[18:02:37] Butters xStotch > ran?
[18:02:43] Butters xStotch > no its like take my morning shit
[18:02:53] Marco drack > well your not here so must of ran sir
[18:03:08] Butters xStotch > you guys run while you shit?
[18:03:45] Nashh Kadavr > ?
[18:03:47] Nashh Kadavr > i do
[18:04:05] Butters xStotch > explains why you guys still suck dick in lowsec
[18:04:23] Nashh Kadavr > mm dick..
[18:04:33] Nashh Kadavr > nom nom
[18:05:08] Marco drack > well sir did your mum teach you how to speak?
[18:05:10] Nashh Kadavr > i am gonna do unspeakable things to your corpse
[18:05:31] TANGO 2008 > someone sounds mad....
[18:05:55] Butters xStotch > little bit
[18:06:53] Marco drack > You are making your self sound like a little boy sir so grow a pair and come back to low sec
[18:07:01] Butters xStotch > hahahahahaha
[18:07:05] Butters xStotch > you dumb bitch
[18:07:09] Butters xStotch > you have no idea
[18:07:18] Marco drack > must not sir
[18:07:32] Butters xStotch > you low sec pirates are the dumbest shit fuckers i've ever met
[18:07:43] Nashh Kadavr > boohoo
[18:07:44] Butters xStotch > "oo come to low sec its where grown ups live"
[18:07:55] Butters xStotch > we have to hang out at gates
[18:08:06] Butters xStotch > its like to mature for ppl
[18:08:06] Marco drack > of course sir are you going to bring you test allaince buddies?
[18:08:14] Butters xStotch > fuck no
[18:08:21] Butters xStotch > why the fuck would i come pvp in low sec
[18:08:28] Butters xStotch > this place blows balls
[18:08:30] Marco drack > LOL
[18:08:39] Marco drack > so does 0.0 sir
[18:08:40] Butters xStotch > you can't even use half the ships in the game
[18:08:44] Nashh Kadavr > you just cant run missions for shit mate
[18:08:48] Butters xStotch > ./face palm
[18:08:58] Butters xStotch > O RELY FUCK ASS
[18:09:01] Butters xStotch > no shit sherlock
[18:09:13] Nashh Kadavr > raging sir?
[18:09:25] Nashh Kadavr > i recommend less coffee maybe?
[18:09:34] Butters xStotch > less noobs at eve
[18:09:42] Butters xStotch > seriously come to null sec
[18:09:45] Butters xStotch > get a bigger gang
[18:09:47] Marco drack > rage quit in progress because he lost a caracal
[18:09:49] Butters xStotch > preferably armor hacs
[18:10:00] Butters xStotch > get 15-20
[18:10:05] Butters xStotch > you'll survice longer
[18:10:18] Butters xStotch > bring some dictors if you know how to fly them
[18:10:27] Nashh Kadavr > would you feel better if i'd apoligize?
[18:10:28] Marco drack > sir I lived in 0.0 before and I always go to 0.0 never see guys like you there sir?
[18:10:43] Butters xStotch > not right now
[18:10:54] Nashh Kadavr > not that i will ofcourse
[18:11:04] Nashh Kadavr > i was just asking if it would make you feel better

Very entertaining indeed, but I figured it be funny to keep this malarky going a bit longer and evemail the dudes CEO;

Racist slants by your corp member
From: Nashh Kadavr
Sent: 2011.07.21 19:02
To: BoodaBooda,

hi Boodbooda,

I just wanted to make you aware of one of your corp members misbehaving in the evati local channel. I normally dont mind a little smack, in fact i find it rather amusing, however this chap decided to use some racist slurs as well wich simply are not acceptable.

Please let me know if this character will be punished or disciplined by your self or if I should notify a GM or CCP representative instead regarding his language.

Kind regards,

Nashh Kadavr

[17:42:16] EVE System > Channel changed to Evati Local Channel
[18:00:16] Butters xStotch > oh i forgot how faggy these low sec "pirates"are
[18:00:39] Butters xStotch > when you learn to eve come to low sec you nigger bitch

ps this came after probing him in his mission and destroying his caracal.


His response was epic and made me LOL;

Re: Racist slants by your corp member
From: BoodaBooda
Sent: 2011.07.22 20:39
To: Nashh Kadavr,

Dear sir or madam,

Thank you for your kind and speedy notification regarding a corp member's racially insensitive language. I have taken the liberty of not only kicking him from corp, but erasing our corp (as well as all others) from his employment history. I have also taken the liberty of shredding his Pend Insurance contract and all outstanding medical clone contracts so that he no longer receives rookie ships, and can no longer be revived from game death. As a final precaution we fired his pod directly at a wormhole, where he will spend the rest of eternity imprisoned just like in Superman 2.


Yours truly,
Boodabooda, esq.
Minmatar, Dreddit CEO, and noted black man

A witty response to finish this saga;

Dear BoodaBooda,
Many thanks for your swift handling of the situation. I feel no punishment is sufficient for grave situations like the one you just had to deal with. Your response has been adequate and satisfactory for me not to report Butters xStotch to CONCORD and have his clone wiped; in fact his pod being stranded in WH space, just like in Superman 2, feels more appropriate.
With this being set as an example I trust no future incidents will come from any of your Corporation and/or Alliance members.
I again thank you for your time and thorough management of this matter.

Warmest regards,

Nashh Kadavr
CEO Kadavr Corp Alliance

Fun stuffs...

Departing; chapter 7/7

Three risky low sec trips have been completed. After the loss of Orca I, a fourth trip seemed not worth going back again.

Merchants from as far as Jita had come to pick up Transporters full of modules and ships. Some had made the journey with simple Shuttles, picking up the more valuable blue prints only.

The three Orca loads were ferried directly to Ammar and sold off in bulk.

The Iges hangar only received one Orca to offload items. Four Laches Recons, 2 command ships, 12 Battlecruisers, 6 cruisers and an assortment combat gear was sold directly on the local market.

All that remained in evati where 6 containers, mainly ammo and 38 ships, most were fitted. Nashh loved those ships. Nearly half of the ships had faction or complex modules, either to enhance performance or to assist in fitting. Most vessels had been recommended by his good friend Lady Shaniqua and fitted to his specifications.

Nashh stood in the giant hangar, it felt empty.

‘Cyber has been paid’. Morrigan stood a few feet behind him. She understood he needed his personal space right now. ‘Moo is on his way home’. ‘We have made more than we need in sales Nashh…’

‘Ok’, Nashh replied solemnly.

‘What do you want to do with the rest?’

‘Contact the Bastards, sell it to them cheap’. ‘All of it’.

‘Pirate Commodore Tibbs just popped by to say hello, do you wish to see him?’

‘Yeah... Sure’.

Tibbsy hadn't waited for permission and was already browsing the remaining gear.

‘You can go now’, Tibbs spoke directly to Morrigan.

Morrigan looked over at Nashh for confirmation.

He simply nodded and dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

‘So what is for sale then big boy?’ Bastard legend Tibbs laughed out loud.

Nashh sighed… ‘That Worm over there is a gift for Hermit, the rest is for sale’.’ What do you want?’

Tibbs looked around for a few seconds then placed his right arm around Nashh's shoulder.

‘I'll take it all….’

-=o0o=-

Nashh had gathered his crew around him; Getsum, Beaute, Morrigan, Aether, Moo, Alison and Dragon.

He stood up as he addressed the group in front of him.

‘As of today this Corp owes no money, we are a standalone venture and we are breaking even’.

‘Not bad, but the time has come to expand. Over the last few weeks preparations have been made with the help of our good friend Hermit and we are ready to receive our first recruits’.
Nashh nodded in the direction of the ever optimistic Beaute; ‘Beaute Suprenate will be promoted to director and assist in keeping this station running, I would appreciate your support in this’.

‘Morrigan and I will start making preparations for the colonisation of a higher class wormhole system’.

‘Moo will base himself in Hek, highsec, and coordinate our combat excursions there. I have Contacted an old buddy of mine, Dame Death, she will look after you there and provide you with the basic training required to participate in the Minmatar war effort’.

‘A fresh start ahead of us, now let's make some isk!’

Fiction; TFS Tibbs

Tibbs contemplated his next move, his could take a while.

'Chess..' Nashh sighed. 'You fucking loser'. A grin hid his poor attempt at sarcasm.

Sarcasm, Nashh never quite got it. He had enjoyed playing the game himself, as a youth, many moons ago. These days he lacked the patience, fast paced, high octane action was now more his style.

Nashh leant against the inside post of the office door.

"The office" was pathetic really, in size, compared to the giant hangar it serviced; it had once been a freight container.

It had a coffee machine, 20 cheap fold-up-chairs around a long square table. Various blackboards had combat schematics and tactics drawn on them. Some rubbed out, some partly amended. Arrhideaus had left his mark by drawing random blobs, vaguely resembling frigates.

For the quality of the furniture, fixtures and fittings, it is rather surprising that so much time was spent here by the Bastards. It served as a staffroom, canteen or meeting place. A placard above the door read 'Dbastards' referring to days long gone, the days when the Bastards were known as the Dastardly Bastards.

It was rather quiet though today; just Tibbs and his chessboard.

'Where have you been mate?' Tibbs asked, not looking away from the chessboard.

'Busy' Nashh replied cold and direct, 'Queen to b4'.

'Ha! Yeah right' Tibbs muttered. Looking up he managed to get a glimps of Nashh leaving the shed-like office.

Tibbs pushed the intercom button. He glanced from the intercom panel to the chessboard and confidently proclaimed his move; knight c8 to a9, check.

A moment of silence passed…

'I had hoped you would do that' Flashfresh's voice crackled over the intercom. 'Queen to a3, check-mate' Flash reported with a hint of joy in his voice, 'good game my friend, good game'.

Tibbs snorted an embarrassed smile, annoyed he had spent as much time as he had on that move and then getting it so wrong.

'Well played sir, well played'.
Tibbs hesitantly pushed the intercom button again, 'what if I had moved queen to b4?'

The intercom went silent. Long enough to make Tibbs wonder if the message hadn't come through on the other side.

The intercom crackled; I don’t know, Flash paused; you may have lasted another hour...

Pirates Ahoy #6 Summer Dullness has bright sparks...

Summer dullness...

Summertime is always quiet in our Universe. Perhaps not so much an issue running missions or mining, however for Pirates specifically a real drag… I have to lower myself to shoot noob-ships tinkering on their PI setups or cyno-ships unable to return anything but a helpless look. All that just to sleep better at night after seeing that pretty blue flash…

Targets are far and few between but there are moments of glory still to be found. There are even, in these quiet times, pilots that, perhaps due to many pirates being off too, grow lazy and fat.

One unsuspecting Hurricane pilot had his egg ejected into the cold vacuum of space after my Ishkur stripped his rusty hull from around him. A ransom had been offered, with him however just shooting the last of a wave of rats and with 20 new ones spawning, time was not on his side. I was left no choice but to continue firing and take what was now rightfully mine.

Not long after a second Battlecruiser appeared on the D-scanner. After finding his initial location and purposefully warping to it, I found nothing as I entered his mission. My call for help in the Bastard comms channel got swiftly answered by our new brother in arms TFS Tibbs or Tibbsy as he has been renamed. With the Drake’s new location locked in the trusty Ishkur set of to gain point, whilst Tibbsy held one jump out. I was sure to get a point on this chap but had my doubts I could break his tank, hence my call for help, and the Tibbster is one hell of a pilot. With his help the kill was assured as much.

The Drake pilot had manoeuvred himself a solid 50 clicks from my warp-in but with the large cloud of rats he must have missed my entrance onto the field of battle. Overheated complex afterburners pushed my vessel to within Scrambler range in a matter of seconds. With the lock and scram secured I requested for Tibbsy to jump in and finish him of. High Drones skills and a rather poorly tanked Drake don’t mix well I guess, as the Drake erupted in a ball of blue flames leaving nothing but a smoking wreck for Tibbsy to look at.

I felt a little bad as I made Mr Tibbs travel 5 jumps to come and support me. The stunned pilot paused a little too long when he tried to get his pod to safety and point was acquired before he could make his escape.

The rats seemed to favour Tibbsy’s Hurricane and started to fire at my Assault Frigate, so much so I was forced to temporarily leave the scene. Chow, the Drake pilot, was kindly invited to our ransom channel and negotiations were under way as Tibbs took care of the rat’s, in preparation for my return.

In true Pulp Fiction style Mr Tibbs accidentally shot mr Chow in the face. A genuine accident and as the price for Chows pod had already been agreed I sent him a little isk as a way of apology and spoke to him for a little while after. Apology accepted.

-=o0o=-

With Persephone’s recent celebration of the coveted ‘Peregrine Badge’, awarded to her for the stellar kill of an Interceptor in a fat-man (Tristan), a smile crossed my face. These two kills are the only ones of the few to be put forward for this month’s solo-kill-of-the-month-award. Please read Persephs brilliant fictive story on receiving the award.

So not bad, you would say right? With the end of the month closing in fast, is August going to be my month? Will I finally receive that much wanted medal and the recognition from my fellow corp-mates?

The answer is simple and short; no. Why you ask? Well, Muckalt, another one of our newbies has gotten himself the following kills;

Hound Vs Drake
Hound Vs Drake

And just if that wouldn’t do it he topped it off with this little gem;

Hound Vs Raven

Astounding, mindboggling stuff, so I guess September could be my month right?...




Watch this space