EPIC Celebrity Death Match #16 Planet Risk (Part 1 of 2)

Planet Risk - EVE's voice (featuring Mynxee-the peoples favourite)

The long awaited EPIC Celebrity Death Match. Well, part of it…This post is the mere prelude to the actual fight which I shall post on the 24th October.

The result will be easily found but the actual fight post will be supported by; links, a radio interview and a frappsed video by non other than Teadaze and will have to wait as an ode to the Hellcats party on the 24th.

Also the fact that a lot of time, preparation and isk has gone into today’s CDM warrants an extra long post therefore making it a 2 part works well for me too.

Three weeks ago I contacted Quivering Palm and asked if he would be interested in doing a Celebrity Death Match. He gladly accepted, but was surprised to be asked in the first place. Being the face of the great SIRadio and blog pack acceptance made it an obvious call to invite him for a Celebrity Death Match.

He quickly made the demand for a radio interview to which I reluctantly agreed. The second pre-requisite for the fight was that it was to be done in Planet Risk, his corps wormhole. No problem (or so I thought).

Now he is not the only face of Split Infinity Radio and he proposed to do a double whammy and include Luminus Aardokay.

Initially I thought that would be a brilliant idea however my laptop is becoming more fragile by the day and duel-boxing has become a big no no. ‘Just wait a minute’ QP stated. A few minutes later and QP returned; ‘Nashh?’. ‘Yes?’ I replied unsure about the delay. ‘Meet your wingman…’ QP continued…

‘I..what?! holy crap!’ I stuttered. ‘Hi Nashh’ Mynxee had typed in the now group chat.

Mynxee; every woman in New Eden wants to be her, every man wants to be with her.

By far the most prolific celebrity in Eve to date was going to be my wing-woman? This Celebrity Death Match grew exponentially into EPIC proportions. Radio? A 2 vs 2? Mynxee!? Surely this couldn’t get any crazier? Well it can apparently; ‘my only request is that we fly in Faction Cruisers’ Mynxee added to the mix. O my word, this is going to be sweet!

The next few weeks involved trying to find a suitable fit for my newly acquired Gallente Navy Vexor. But Nashh you only fly Caldari? Well yes I did. I did. But you may remember my fight with Spectre? Yeah that’s right, that’s the first time I tried a different flavour of ship. Now do you remember my post on the Bastard faction roam? I spent some time ogling z0de and I nearly got an opportunity to fly his Navy Vexor…

My drone skills are not too bad but I did spend my time getting up some gunnery skills and armour resist skills to be able to fit what I thought to be a brilliant fit I found on Battle Clinic. Double small-armour reps, microwarpdrive, medium cap booster… ‘Excellent’ I thought and purchased the fittings.

Various emails where exchanged and Mynxee made me aware of Jaxxon Voers helping her with her fitting. Jaxxon, another Bastard, is a genius when it comes to fitting ships so it appears. I convo’d him and he kindly helped me with a more suitable fit, and quick. He raised my potential tanking and damage output within minutes of meeting him. Eve Fitting Tool? Blah! Voerss Fitting Tool!

He also recommended getting heavy drones or sentry drones to effectively create another cruiser but I didn’t think I’d have enough time to skill for tech 2 varieties.

By now we had contracted our ships out to Planet Risk in Jita for them to haul into their wormhole. With them knowing our ship types it only seemed fair we knew what they where going to be flying. A Navy Vexor and a Navy Caracal it would be…

After some more contact with Mynxee we agreed on our strategy and the plan was to both ECM-drone-swarm the Caracal as ECM was not banned and the possibility of the Caracal being fitted with ECM modules was quit big. The rest of our weapons would be turned on the Vexor.

A few attempts had been made to get the modules nearer to Planet Risk but it’s not easy with wormholes spawning entrances in different locations every few days. The Hellcat CEO suggested moving up on the day of the fight in cloaky ships.

I finished work late on Saturday and browsing the market I spotted some Faction drones. A yes, I had heard of them but not seen them yet. Without to much pause I spend the last of my isk (after selling some collateral) on 5 Faction Hammerheads and 5 Faction Bouncers. I fitted a Manticore with cargo expanders and cargo expanding rigs. Loaded with all my modules, ammo and 15 drones I went to bed for an uneasy night sleep.

The reason why I say the last of my isk is because my industry alt has not been active since I spent all my online time in Evati. Fists full of isk have been spent on my small fleet there and some CDM losses, a carrier and the skill books for my alt and poker.

Celebrity Death Match is a costly hobby I have found out. This CDM alone has cost about 450 million isk but I will give you that breakdown later.

Sundays downtime over and I logged in promising the wife I wont be on more than 3 hours.

Mynxee had found an opportunity to get into the worm hole safely so I was to make the journey alone. No problem I figured, I am by now a very seasoned space traveller and set off via Kuomi to pick up the Faction Hammerheads I left there by mistake.

Two routes where available, one deep into 0.0 and another one shorter and safer so the choice was simple. The last 7 jumps to Gomati proved stressful as I got chased briefly by a small gang. Alexia from the colourful Punishment Blog convo’d me mid travel. Another celeb on my list but why would she contact me? ‘Are you being chased?’ she asked. ‘er, yes’ I responded, ‘but how do you know?’. She paused (I think she put in a good word for me with the locals) and then explained she spotted a gang jumping after me. We chatted briefly and agreed to catch up some point soon. Unfortunately I had to cut the conversation short as I neared my destination and Mynxee just came online…

Mynxee explained she used the deeper 0.0 entrance and made me aware that Lumi and QP where not going to be online for at least another hour. I reset the route and a daunting 33 jumps through 0.0 planned itself out. By this point I have already made 92 jumps for this CDM to get my fittings etc to this point.

I sighed but activated my warpdrive… whilst travelling I explained I picked up some faction sentry drones so if we so wanted I could still go back to Jaxxon’s suggestion of dropping large drones. Mynxee expressed her joy and that decion made just left another 23 jumps to make.

Constantly checking local and my scanner I blasted my way through 0.0. A few close calls but nothing crazy happened sofar. I started to become aware of time as my missus started to ask how long I was going to be and I am nearing my 3 hour time limit. I activated my ECM on her and moved on.

Then it happened. With only 2 in local I ignored my scanner and flew straight to the next gate. 90 clicks from the gate I ended up in a bubble and the 2 pilots in local didn’t hesitate. Blood rushed to my head as I franticly tried to escape with my microwarpdrive. O fuck crap shit bullock no please no… pop went my ship.

My faction drones, modules, every last penny I had, was in that ship. I managed to get my pod out and docked up in a local station. I explained to Mynxee what had happened and took a minute to sort myself out. I am in the process of stopping smoking but I have some in the house in case of emergency. This was an emergency.

Returning to my keyboard I did not have many options. Getting more fittings was out of the question; I am broke. Making my 3 hour time window is now deffo out of the window. Wife aggro continued but I activated my ECM’s, Scrams and all available weapons on her, then overloaded.

‘Want the Corpii’s back? 25 mil for both’, it read in local. Without hesitation I figured a quick check of what dropped and asking my killer to return them. FleshDiver answered my call and asked what I wanted. I complimented him on the kill and explained my purpose in his space. I explained my intentions and what I am doing. Then to try and save time, hassle and secure a safe passage I offered for him to keep the Navy Vexor if I win this fight, in return for my gear and an escort. He paused momentarily but then instructed me to come to the top station. ‘I normally don’t do this’ he said, opening a trade window.

To my amazement he traded me all the dropped gear back, minus the rigs.’that’s all I can do for you’ he said and left our private chat. I thanked him in local and offered to give him a mention on the radio interview and in my blog.

In the explosion I lost all the Faction drones, more than 100 millions worth. My rigs where gone too and a few other modules. Mynxee took pity and flicked 150 mil in my direction, I vowed to return it to her but she stressed the fact she will not accept any payment back.

Jumping around the local area got me a new Manticore and Covert Ops cloak then I set of to Rens to buy the missing modules. On route there I realised the Corpii armor reps where part of my original fit, not the Jaxxon Voers fit I intended. I discussed this with my wing woman and I decided to go with the Battle Clinic fit I originally intended, to save a little money.

Rens luckily had some more Faction Bouncers and I grudgingly paid the 60 mil. A few mods later and some rigs for the Manti to be able to hold all my gear and I set off again.

By now Teadaze had joined us and he offered his expertise in getting me to the wormhole entrance safely.

On route to meet Teadaze the wife decided enough is enough and returned fire, podding me instantly. The mic was to go…

No mic through 0.0? What was she thinking? However her alpha strike is strong and my resists non-existent so I obeyed.

The very first 0.0 system I jumped into nearly killed me for real. My heart pounding out of my chest, for there where several bubbles up at the gate. I quickly warped to the nearest celestial where upon landing 2 bubbles appeared. I managed to escape but upon landing at planet 1 another 2 bubbles appeared. Again I got away warping to planet 4 immediately. Mid warp I decided to just hide for a few weeks if I would lose this ship. Landing at planet 4 increased my stress levels further as again 2 bubbles came up. Jebus fuck what is wrong with these guys?!

I managed to escape the system in one piece with my head ready to explode from the amount of blood that had rushed to it. The wife had waited long enough and escaped also, using the front door rather than a jump gate however.

A further 14 jumps where made, lead by the expert scouting of Mr Teadaze. Some small hiccups but nothing life threatening luckily. We arrived at our final destination and were led to the wormhole by Luminus.

The wormhole sparkled brightly, with a dark red coloured heart, beating. Wormholes are fascinating to observe. It’s like looking into the back of a pulsating spoon made of mercury…

TO BE CONTINUED…